Triggers

“Geez, you’ve put on a few pounds!”  Even though I had recently finally been able to get my weight under control, my customer’s observation still struck me smack in the face.  So, despite laughing on the outside to my customer, I was flooded on the inside with emotions about my lifetime struggle with my weight.

Instead of focusing on presenting my meeting plan, I found myself struggling to concentrate on anything other than the fact that I was heavier than I used to be.  I had thought that I was doing much better at battling my weight – that I was lighter than I was a year ago - so my mind was stuck on the fact that my customer saw me as heavy as I was the last time we had crossed paths – much heavier.

Honestly, my weight doesn’t matter.  The simple fact is that, even though he was just playfully teasing, my customer unwittingly hit one of my sore spots.  We all have sore spots and trigger words that have the potential to elicit an emotional response.  Comments about age, weight, gender, or any other host of things that have the ability to trigger a reaction can instantly garner our attention.  Some reactions take the form of public outbursts, while others are dealt with internally.  Regardless of the form your reaction takes, the results are equally as devastating.

Trigger words go beyond personal sensitivities, and often spill over into business.  Being questioned on your company’s stability or product quality, or your competitor’s options can create an identical emotional reaction as having somebody call you “old man,” “fatty,” or “sweetie.”

While there are ways you can proactively desensitize yourself to these emotional trigger words, you must first be able to recognize when a trigger word has been touched upon.  There is no shelf life to either the positive or negative triggers.  Being called fat, if you’re sensitive to it, is just as hurtful today as it was last week.  When you notice that somebody has accidentally (or purposefully) hit one of your triggers, you then have the ability to change your reaction, instead of letting your reaction change you.

There are few people who take the time to recognize that there are both positive and negative emotional triggers.  Yes, there are certain words, comments, and phrases that when you hear them, create a wonderful emotional reaction.  Your reaction to a positive trigger can calm, energize, and focus you instantly.

Positive triggers may be something as simple as a letter you received from a customer explaining how thrilled they were with you, your product, or company. Positive triggers can be wonderful voicemail messages that you have received, or they can be something as intangible as the memory of how you felt when you did something wonderful. 

It is your job to collect these positive triggers as you go through both your personal and professional life.  It is your job to be able to pull these positive triggers out and digest them when you need an emotional boost. You can use them as the antidote to a negative trigger, or as an emotional energy drink just before you give a big presentation. 

Regardless of how you use your positive triggers, you owe it to yourself to recognize how many things around you can be mentally catalogued and saved for later use.  Do yourself a favor and do whatever it takes to capture your successes; to see how much good surrounds you every day, and save these tokens of good fortune for use on a rainy day.  You never know when you’re going to need to reach into the vault and pull out something that reminds you of how good you are.  

It is only when you feel your best that you can be your best, and when you are at your best, you attract even more things of which to be proud.

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